After a Decade, I'm Practicing Self-Love on Valentine's Day

14 February 2019


This will be my first Valentine’s Day as a single person in a decade. And I am feeling all the “single’s awareness day” posts and the baggage of dread that comes with it. But let’s be honest: it’s absolute nonsense.

The most important person to show love to on Valentine’s Day and every damn day of our lives must be the person who looks back at us in the mirror.

Of course, the idea of choosing yourself can be intimidating. Before I dove into that commitment I had this nagging thought that self-love was selfish.

I couldn’t have been more wrong.


Selfishness causes people to put themselves ahead of others. Self-love allows one to embrace other people in the same way that they embrace themselves. If you hold yourself with the love and respect you deserve then that will naturally flow to everyone around you. At least, that's how I see it.

Love is the most powerful force on earth. An abundance or lack of love can change everything.

A lack of love is a breeding ground for fear and doubt. Looking back, I realize those times I was so afraid to share an article I had written or even accept a compliment from other people that I was denying myself of love. It’s because I didn't love myself enough at that moment to accept how my talent and hard work was received by others through something as simple as positive feedback.


On the other hand, believing in accepting love can lead to trust and all things that are good. Anything from intentions, goals, thoughts or a conversation rooted in positivity and love can turn any result into a great lesson.


As difficult as it may be, accepting the lesson of letting go with love will change how you bounce back from a missed opportunity or ending a relationship. I won't lie, it's easier said than done. But you cannot forget to choose love and yourself.


I can definitely agree that February 14 can be boiled down to a “Hallmark holiday”, but it can easily be turned around into a reminder to practice this vital kind of self-love. 


Rupaul says it best: “If you can't love yourself how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?” That’s the million dollar question that's answered by putting those self-love muscles to work.



Start with taking a moment to breathe and be grateful for how far you’ve come, who you are, where you’re going and who you want to be. Life is a process. When you learn to love the lessons you are dealt then there is so much joy to tap into.

The more joy and love you allow for yourself the more effortless it is to share. You may not be able to do it today but in time you’ll find it easier to share something as small as a smile in the simplest of interactions.

Remember: It's in the little things that help the self-love flow. Whether it’s on Valentine’s Day or every day of the year. And don't you forget it.
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